If the world were different, I would be calling one of my closest friends today and wishing her a Happy 19th Birthday. We would talk about how, naturally, Doctor Who would be on TV on her birthday, and we’d talk about the upcoming movie adaptations of our favorite books. We’d fangirl together and discuss the newest happenings on Tumblr. We’d laugh and smile, together.

However, the world works in its own ways. She passed away on December 21st, and it’s been about 3.5 months since that day. Though it’s been sometime, it’s not something you can get past, and as Ziva David puts it, “You only get through”.

If it wasn’t for her, I never would have discovered the world of science fiction. I never would have delved into fantasy and imagination in any way. I would never have found Firefly or Castle and my subsequent love for Nathan Fillion, never have wanted to make a life goal to cosplay at Comic Con with friends, never have read some of the most incredible stories of my life, and never have discovered that I have an imagination; one of the most powerful weapons a person can wield.

I would never have learned that being a geek and a fangirl is not only acceptable, but the best thing in the world.

She was more important to me than i could have ever imagined. In 7th grade I thought she was annoying for using big words. By the time we graduated high school, she was one of my best friends. She made life so much better than I could have thought possible, and if it wasn’t for her, I have no idea where my life would be.

Remember to tell those around you that you love them, and how much they mean to you. I never got to tell her this, and I don’t think she ever knew how important she was to the world and those around her. Saying one thing to someone can completely change their life or their outlook on it, and that could be the most important thing in the world.

Ally, I miss you my dear friend. Wherever you are, know you are loved with the deepest of hearts, and that even though you’re gone, you’ve managed to change the lives of so many, and I feel honored and blessed to have been close with someone like you. You will always be in our hearts and minds, and will surely never be forgotten. I love you, Ally. Thank you for making the world a better place to live and being a bright, shining light in the darkest of times.